ILoveYou

Sunday, April 29, 2007♥

Two Hokkien pengs, Ah Beng and Ah Seng, got promoted from privates to corporals.Not long after, they're out for a walk and Ah Beng says, "Eh, Seng ah, there's the NCO Club. Let's go inside and togo.""But we all is plivate only, mah," protests Ah Seng."No, we all is copler now," says Ah Beng, pulling him inside. Once inside the pub, Ah Beng says, "Okay, let's order some beer and togo!""But we all is plivate!" says Ah Seng."Piang eh, you cannot see, meh?" says Ah Beng, pointing to his stripes. "We all is copler now!"After leaving the NCO club, Ah Beng and Ah Seng go to Geylang.There, Ah Beng whistles at a hooker, but the hooker says, "Sorry, hor. Tonight cannot because I got gonorrhea."Ah Beng pulls Ah Seng to the side and say, "Eh, you go and check the dictionary and see what 'gonorrhea' means. It it's okay, give me the okay sign."Ah Seng goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Ah Beng a big thumbs-up.Three weeks later, Ah Beng is in the hospital with a severe case of gonorrhea."Ni na beh," he scolds Ah Seng. "Why you tell me it's okay?""Not my fault!" says Ah Seng. "In the dictionary, it says gonorrhea affects the privates."Then he points to his stripes: "But we is copler now, mah!"

A long time ago, Ah Beng found himself as a sailor on board an ang-mor explorer's ship. One day, in the crow's nest, he spotted an uncharted island. He quickly scurried down, and knocked on the captain's door. "Eh, Captain!" he said eagerly. "There got new island, leh! What should we call it?"However, the Captain was at the time making love to a woman passenger, who was in the throes of passion.Ah Beng heard the woman wail to the Captain, "Put it in, dear! In, dear! In, dear!"And thus, India got its name.Ah Beng later found himself serving on-board Christopher Columbus' ships.One day, the crew spotted a new continent. Ah Beng was below decks, when Columbus summoned the crew on deck.As Columbus asked, "What shall we name this new world?", Ah Beng scrambled up and said in Cantonese, "Hai mee-eh leh ka?" ("What's happening?")And thus, America got its name.

Ah Lian called Ah Beng over the telephone. Lian: " Beng, I can't get my new jig saw puzzle fixed, mah-chiam all the edges cannot fix together, leh." Beng: " Jig saw puzzle si mi picture, ha?" Lian: " The box show a big rooster, kanna like the one in talkingcock.com ". Beng: "Okay, lah, okay, lah. I come over to hepchu, lah." Ah Beng arrives at Ah Lian's place, where she happily leads him to the kitchen table where the jigsaw puzzle is. Ah Beng examines the puzzle and says, " Kan ni na, put back the corn flakes into the box, lah."

One day, 4 babies were born at K.K. Hospital: a German, a Jewish, a Filipino and a Singaporean. However, someone mixed up the babies by mistake, and the nurses couldn't differentiate between them.However, the head sister had a bright idea. She lined the babies up in front of her and exclaimed, "Heil Hitler!"At hearing this, the German baby raised his arm in a salute, while the Jewish baby soiled his diapers. In the meantime, the Singaporean baby turned to the Filipino baby and said, "Clean that up!"

There was this case in a hospital's intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and always on Friday mornings, regardless of their medical conditions. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had to do with the supernatural. So the doctors decided to go down to that particular ward to investigate the cause. Come Friday morning, everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the terrible phenomenon to occur again. Some held wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil.... As the time approached, their hearts began beating anxiously, and with every beat of the clock, everyone held their breath........ .... Then Ah Soh, the part-time Friday cleaner, came into the room and unplugged the life support system so that she could use the vacuum cleaner.

Dr. Quek made a routine house call to Mr. Lim, one of his elderly patients. He asks, "And how are you doing today, Mr. Lim?" Mr. Lim replies, "I feel just fine, doc. But you know, it's the strangest thing. Every night when I get up to pang jio, the bathroom light goes on for me automatically when I open the door!" The doctor is worried that the old man is getting senile, so he phones the man's son, and the son's wife answers. The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Lim, I'm a little concerned about your father-in-law. It seems that when he gets up to urinate at night and opens the bathroom door, the light somehow goes on..." At which point, Mrs. Lim yells, "Ah Seng! Ah Pa is peeing in the refrigerator again!"

Char Siew Pao and Mee Kia got involved in an argument. Char Siew Pao got very angry and shouted at Mee Kia, "I'm going to find my gang to hantam you!" So Char Siew Pao went to round up Leng Yong Pau and Tau Sar Pow. Just then, Maggi Mee walked round the corner. Immediately, the Paos started to beat him up. As Char Siew Pao was punching Maggi Mee, he shouted, "Don't think just because you perm your hair, we can't recognise you, okay!"What's the difference between ang-mor and Hokkien fairy tales?Ang-mor fairy tales begin with: "Once upon a time..."Hokkien fairy tales begin with: "Lim Peh ka li kong..."

omg .. damn funny can ~ xD

was laughing all the way when reading seandidi's blog xD

made me laugh like siao .

kkays . enjoy !

&& post it at ur blog bah ;DD

KohWenJie,ILoveYou

> 4/29/2007 10:52:00 PM

♥

yeayea .

back from johore .

damm tired .

but bought 4 tops && 1 jeans :DD

SOMEMORE ALL CHEAPCHEAP DERH LORH !

hehs ,

upload pics .

batbat :D the shadow my hand xDside way ;

jeans on my sis bed ;purple shirt wif korean words ;side ways ;stoopid shadow xDon sis bed ;white top :Don the floor ;

pink top ;ALL *

haas , tats all .

tell yoo arh ,

everything except dha jeans .

are below $10 xD

hehs , cheap horh ?

kays , gtg !

tmr common test again T_T

KohWenJie,ILoveYou

> 4/29/2007 10:13:00 PM

Saturday, April 28, 2007♥

ytd slept right after i blog finish .
then sleepsleepsleep*
like a stoopid dumb pig -.-

from 5plus pm ytd until today morning .
8am xD
pro rites ?!
i think maybe is this week too busy
&& tiring lerh bah .
so .. sleep until liddat loh .
woke up so early is cos nid to
go tution nah :X
hates .
i stl very slpy lorh !
bo bian , pay money mus go .
went , smsed him .
he say me li hai xD

SKIPSKIPSKIP*

teacher taught us coordinate today :D
i understand btr thn in class .
cos im always falling aslp in class xD
so btr liao loh .
heng urhs . common test coming :D
hehs . then found out my tution fren is studying at zhenghua
my god .
so close to me xD
he say he attended wsss 3 days worh !
then opted out , went zhenghua .
he say our sch good . got lotsa programmes .
good mehs ? o.O
we no money lorh ..
anyways , had a quite nice chat btw our schs .
tution ended*

SKIPSKIPSKIP*

smsed him straightaway after finish tution xD

miss-ed him too much nah .

then went home .

studied worh !

hahas , ate udon noodles .

cook myself derh .

continue sci studying .

so sian .

online loh .

cos he went tution -.-

chatted wif nuer :D

love her lah .

surf-ed blogs .

sudd , tanyan said there was this

anti-jiechun blog -.-

went thr , tagged .

found tat someone like my

dearkorkor .

wahlao ?! who dare snatch my korkor !! ):<

hahas , no lah .

im more thn happy to noe ppl like my ahkor :D

SKIPSKIPSKIP*

he sms-ed me say wanna meet me .

kay loh . study mah (:

went lot1 library .

really got study one horh !

dun playplay .

i studied sci AGAIN .

hehs . cos sci really weak .

the phyics luh -.-

everytime dun understand wad no tree standing toking abt .

he tok-ed until so boring lah !

like got some kind of spell to put us to slp derh .

actually we lie down infront of him , he oso dun mind xD

studied ,

sci - light , sound , current , voltage , blabla etcetc .

kays . lalas .

SKIPSKIPSKIP*

went to eat longjohn .

the cashier auntie scold me !! ):<

WADTHEFU** .

i say : auntie , combo 1 . more crumbs pls , & i wan tartar sauce . 谢谢。

she said : okays . [ take note ]

*served*

*observing* kay , got crumbs .. lets see ..

omg?! tartar sauce missing !!

at this point of time .

the auntie was busy .

i shouted : auntieeeeee ~ 我要tartar sauce ~

she din bothered me !

kays , nvm . treat it as she nvr hear me .

repeated my sentence .

she turned arnd .

saying : HAIIYO ! 为什么刚才没有跟我讲??! [ in a frustrated way ]

你要早早跟我讲mah ~ 你慢吞吞跟我讲，我很忙的leh !

now , readers .

if yoo wud kindly scroll up && read my first sentence to her .

i said i wan tartar sauce in the very first place !

i was not in the wrong kay ?!

wads the problem wif tat auntie ?!

no patience !

is tat how singaporeans suppose to treat their customers ?!

yoo today come tat thing arhs ?!

so no patience .

i was like so hot lah !

got scolded for nth lehs !

stoopid auntie ! ):<

nvm .

&& the chicken is soooo OILY !

yucks .

went home*

now blogging .

bt mom waiting at lot1 for me .

i lied tat i have tummyache cos want stay online to chat with

dear (;

white lie .

hehs .

kays , gtg (:

darling , im sorry .

im willing to change for yoo .

to change for the btr ..

change my temper if i can,

change my boyish behaviour .

stop torturing & bullying yoo xD

iloveyous <3

KohWenJie,ILoveYou

> 4/28/2007 07:25:00 PM

Friday, April 27, 2007♥

hehhehs ,
school-ed today .
first lesson ,
sian .
english common test .
our sch special lah .
no mid year ,
but haf important common test .
bt i din mug hard enough ):
haish :x
the topic of newspaper writing is about earthquake ,
AGAIN .
sian lorh !
nvm ,
most xin tong is .
I EXCEEDED THE WORD LIMIT .
haish , but not much time liaos ..
i finished early though ,
took me 1/2hr to do it .
word limit : 250 - 350
me : 469
pro right ?!
1/2hr write so much u noe !
hand was like so suan when i finished .
i slept all the way until mrNG collected .
he arh ,
dunno how to say .
blurblur derh xD
actions alot thn make us laugh like hell .
expressions oso very ke aii xP
funny cher ,
first time met a cher tat intro himself in chinese's name
when he wasnt even our chi cher .
funny right ?
i stl rmb-ed .
he said : ' okays , now i tell yoo my chi name . my chi name is ..
(he wrote on the board) 吴树立 . 吴 is my surname ,
树立 means establish . "
we were like thinking : " wadthehell man ..
so weird urh his name -.- "
sudd , jiawei shouted .
" WAH ! CHER ! NO ESTABLISH LAH ! is no tree standing ! xD "
laughslaughslaughs .
malay din understand , we explained .
he was only direct translating lorh !
吴 sounds like 无 = no , 树 = tree , 立 = standing
so , thus the name , no tree standing came abt .
so lame luhhhhh -.-
bt he's a kind cher lah (:

kays ,
2nd period ,
ARTTTTTTTTT*
hahas ,
did those blending AGAIN .
so pek cek luh !
i dunchh haf my fav paintbrush !
thn the one i took sucks .
all the hair like come out come out derh .
caleb take tat one very good lorh !
he dunno how to paint ,
thn take the good brush for wad ?!!
walao , thn he dun wan lend me !
ARGH .
selfish stoopid small boy ! )x
nvm , painted the rose so fast lah
in jus a hour man .
i have no patience ,
thus the final work sucks .
nvm bah , im not gg to choose art next yr anyways .

RECESS *
as we had stayed back to touch up ,
we left 5mins to eat -.-
i bought 5meatballs at first .
10cents each .
then felt it was not enough luh .
bought 20meatballs again xD
10 is jolene treat derh :D
put lotsa belanchan .
then the aunties , teachers
were all asking .
HUR ?! so many meatballs ?
will full mehs ?!
not hot arh the chilli ?!!
aiya ..
relax lah chers ..
the chilli not hot at all -.-
smuggled up to class .
funny thing happened .
i saw mrMINDER coming in our class ,
as it was too noisy w/o cher .
once he stepped into my class ,
i stepped out of my class xD
cos i was holding the bag of
chilli-ed meatballs !!
i quickly removed my counsillor badge ,
ran down 4th flr , walk across ,
then ran up 5th flr again .
straight to toilet .
eat until left 4 lerh thn went back class xD
so tired .
haas xP

1hour was freeeeee*
no msYEE around .
shuang .
we played , shout , scream .
lols .
jiawei , sherwen , jianteng , leon , caleb & wenjin were playing
cards so loudly tat attracted the chi cher frm
next class -.-
so dumb lah !
thn cher caught them ,
no choice . went detention xD
me keep disiao-ing yunrui :D
wrote on her table with highlighter .
SEBAS&YUNRUI 210407*
21LOVES blablabla .
wrote until she so pekcek xD
funfunfun .
she keep rubbing away .
hehhehs xP

an hour passed ..
finally , msYEE was here .
but the boys nt here lah -.-
jiawei & sherwen is frm d&t derh .
so they went to d&t lab .
other guys tio caught is f&n .
so when they came back ,
msYEE back liaos .
too bad loh , kena scolded like hell .
she was like saying : ' how dare yoo play cards during MY lesson ?! HOW DARE YOO !
u jolly well know that yoo arent suppose to bring cards to sch ! "
keep repeating the ' HOW DARE YOO . "
we keep armm-chioing .
so funny .
test liaos .
then finish test .
so lame luh ,
we know the test content .
cos other class took it first .
so we know loh .
hehs .

finish lesson liaos .
SKIPSKIPSKIP .
cca-ed .
ate meesoto ?
i think liddat spell .
skipskipskip .
came home .
laas .
so now blogging (:
hehs .

kays , BYEBYE .
too long liaos :D

KohWenJie,ILoveYou

> 4/27/2007 04:43:00 PM

Thursday, April 26, 2007♥

heyys !

sorry horh !

that i nvr blog for so longgggg* >.<

anyways .

went to watch 200pound beauty on sat*

NICENICE ! :D

funny at first , then at the end ..

haish , so sad .

so i cried ! >.<

tears were so uncontrollable .

finding the song now .

; maria by kim ah joong

; byul by kim ah joong*

; beautiful girl by kim ah joong

maybe next time put :D

&& the actor + actress (main)

so handsome && pretty !

haas ,

so now talk abt sch .

exams are around the corner .

as usual ,　临时抱佛脚　loh .

haishx .
as wad catty say ,

feel so unprepared for this coming exam .

term2 was like ZOOM! fly past us liao .

real fast .

going may soon .

&& its gonna 3rdmonth* !!

YAYS :D

haas .

so happy ,

everytime one month .

then will treat my 2droyalfamfam* eat something :D

real lovelove my 2droyalfamilyyyyyyyyyy }

haas =D

2dROYALFAMILY ;

.king`SYAZWAN

.queen`EMERALD
.guardofhonour`JIALE

.princes`LEON&CALEB

.princesses`MELISSA&JOLENE

.maidmaid`BEATRICE (:

.royal doggy`JINYEW

thats all ! :D

well , other frens were not included .

but they are always with us too !

chunkiong , junwen , kenneth , wenchuan blabla ..

well , if u notice .

only 4girls xD

dunno why .

well , at first wanna rip mama ( FISHY ) codes .

budden i dunno how to edit sia !

ARGHHH ~ pekcek .

nvm .
tis one oso quite nice luh .

so lazy , i dun wanna link .

hmms .

very worried for him .

mom everytime say wanna call him .

i say forget abt our rela lerh ,

but he insist he wan continue .

no matter wad happens .

he said : we will nvr break becos of one small setback ..

issit small ?

no it isnt .
but he is jus so stubborn .

so ..

bo bian loh -.-

nvm , very happy with him :D

oh ya ,

went mos wif 2droyalfamfam* jus now .

&& him too !

i made him sad ^^v

i say ..

jus break bah .

thn he go lie down ,

dun wan tok to me .

emerald say he cry ):

i no patience ,

no matter how i pull him ,

he stl lie down thr ,

covering the face .

dun wan wake up .
so i went off in a huff .

cos really no patience .

went to pop && bought penpen for tmr .

saw mel & jojo ,

so went to the baggy shop .

seeseesee .

mel say wan buy THE bag .

but duno lah .

thn i ask mel accompany me home .

they ask : why wenjie nvr pei u home ?

i angry mah , so say :

aiya , dun care him lah . dunno wad he doing .

went back to mos to retrieve mel's baggy .

then saw him .

they say he has been at tat position since i left .

-.- so stoopid .

then i try an wei him again .

cos i was jus joking lah !

he stl dun wanna wake up .

tis time real hot .

din even wait for mel .

i went off .

reach bbp lrt ..

quite worried .

so called him ,

he ans but nvr tok -.-

emerald`mama took over .

she say

he stl in tat position -.-

so i ask her how ?

she adviced me blablablablabla

skipskipskip*

went back loh .

find him .

HE IS STL IN TAT POSITION .

stl quite angry ,

so went toilet first to cool down .

thn back .

okays ,

he finally NOT in tat position lerh xD

thn skipskipskip*

okay lerh .

took pics tat he clipped hair* xD

laff-ed until i tummyache .

hurhur .

im bad i noe xD

PICS*

he clipped hair* me arm-chio

he look like girl lah -.-

so cuteeeeee*me arm-chio* xDmirror-reflection :D

weeeeee* i make derh . ^^v

i draw derh ! ^^v

minnie&mickey (:

tigger :D

cutie poohs ! :D

last pic* PIGGY ! me luh -.-

hmms , today geraldine`NUER gave me a piece of love paper*

hahas , thanks worh nuer .

reallu appreciates it .

thanks a million*

dear , i thought over it .

i will nvr leave yoo again .

& , sorry for making yoo sad today ):

i wanna watch movie wif ya again ! ^^

hees , lastly ..

ILOVEYOOS*muacks .

KohWenJie,ILoveYou

> 4/26/2007 07:58:00 PM