Two Hokkien pengs, Ah Beng and Ah Seng, got promoted from privates to corporals.Not long after, they're out for a walk and Ah Beng says, "Eh, Seng ah, there's the NCO Club. Let's go inside and togo.""But we all is plivate only, mah," protests Ah Seng."No, we all is copler now," says Ah Beng, pulling him inside. Once inside the pub, Ah Beng says, "Okay, let's order some beer and togo!""But we all is plivate!" says Ah Seng."Piang eh, you cannot see, meh?" says Ah Beng, pointing to his stripes. "We all is copler now!"After leaving the NCO club, Ah Beng and Ah Seng go to Geylang.There, Ah Beng whistles at a hooker, but the hooker says, "Sorry, hor. Tonight cannot because I got gonorrhea."Ah Beng pulls Ah Seng to the side and say, "Eh, you go and check the dictionary and see what 'gonorrhea' means. It it's okay, give me the okay sign."Ah Seng goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Ah Beng a big thumbs-up.Three weeks later, Ah Beng is in the hospital with a severe case of gonorrhea."Ni na beh," he scolds Ah Seng. "Why you tell me it's okay?""Not my fault!" says Ah Seng. "In the dictionary, it says gonorrhea affects the privates."Then he points to his stripes: "But we is copler now, mah!"
A long time ago, Ah Beng found himself as a sailor on board an ang-mor explorer's ship. One day, in the crow's nest, he spotted an uncharted island. He quickly scurried down, and knocked on the captain's door. "Eh, Captain!" he said eagerly. "There got new island, leh! What should we call it?"However, the Captain was at the time making love to a woman passenger, who was in the throes of passion.Ah Beng heard the woman wail to the Captain, "Put it in, dear! In, dear! In, dear!"And thus, India got its name.Ah Beng later found himself serving on-board Christopher Columbus' ships.One day, the crew spotted a new continent. Ah Beng was below decks, when Columbus summoned the crew on deck.As Columbus asked, "What shall we name this new world?", Ah Beng scrambled up and said in Cantonese, "Hai mee-eh leh ka?" ("What's happening?")And thus, America got its name.
Ah Lian called Ah Beng over the telephone. Lian: " Beng, I can't get my new jig saw puzzle fixed, mah-chiam all the edges cannot fix together, leh." Beng: " Jig saw puzzle si mi picture, ha?" Lian: " The box show a big rooster, kanna like the one in talkingcock.com ". Beng: "Okay, lah, okay, lah. I come over to hepchu, lah." Ah Beng arrives at Ah Lian's place, where she happily leads him to the kitchen table where the jigsaw puzzle is. Ah Beng examines the puzzle and says, " Kan ni na, put back the corn flakes into the box, lah."
One day, 4 babies were born at K.K. Hospital: a German, a Jewish, a Filipino and a Singaporean. However, someone mixed up the babies by mistake, and the nurses couldn't differentiate between them.However, the head sister had a bright idea. She lined the babies up in front of her and exclaimed, "Heil Hitler!"At hearing this, the German baby raised his arm in a salute, while the Jewish baby soiled his diapers. In the meantime, the Singaporean baby turned to the Filipino baby and said, "Clean that up!"
There was this case in a hospital's intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and always on Friday mornings, regardless of their medical conditions. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had to do with the supernatural. So the doctors decided to go down to that particular ward to investigate the cause. Come Friday morning, everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the terrible phenomenon to occur again. Some held wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil.... As the time approached, their hearts began beating anxiously, and with every beat of the clock, everyone held their breath........ .... Then Ah Soh, the part-time Friday cleaner, came into the room and unplugged the life support system so that she could use the vacuum cleaner.
Dr. Quek made a routine house call to Mr. Lim, one of his elderly patients. He asks, "And how are you doing today, Mr. Lim?" Mr. Lim replies, "I feel just fine, doc. But you know, it's the strangest thing. Every night when I get up to pang jio, the bathroom light goes on for me automatically when I open the door!" The doctor is worried that the old man is getting senile, so he phones the man's son, and the son's wife answers. The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Lim, I'm a little concerned about your father-in-law. It seems that when he gets up to urinate at night and opens the bathroom door, the light somehow goes on..." At which point, Mrs. Lim yells, "Ah Seng! Ah Pa is peeing in the refrigerator again!"
Char Siew Pao and Mee Kia got involved in an argument. Char Siew Pao got very angry and shouted at Mee Kia, "I'm going to find my gang to hantam you!" So Char Siew Pao went to round up Leng Yong Pau and Tau Sar Pow. Just then, Maggi Mee walked round the corner. Immediately, the Paos started to beat him up. As Char Siew Pao was punching Maggi Mee, he shouted, "Don't think just because you perm your hair, we can't recognise you, okay!"What's the difference between ang-mor and Hokkien fairy tales?Ang-mor fairy tales begin with: "Once upon a time..."Hokkien fairy tales begin with: "Lim Peh ka li kong..."
omg .. damn funny can ~ xD
was laughing all the way when reading seandidi's blog xD
made me laugh like siao .
kkays . enjoy !
&& post it at ur blog bah ;DD
